Springfield Nuclear Power Plant

Safety Inspector • Nov, 1980 — Present

Write about your core competencies in one or two sentences describing your position. If you held the position for a long time, it could be a longer section, including a couple bullet points

  • Ate lots of donuts
  • Fell asleep rarely
  • Left promptly at end of day (sometimes earlier)

Sir Putt-A-Lot's Merrie Olde Fun Centre

Safety Inspector • Jun, 1978 — Sept, 1979

If your stint was shorter, feel free to be brief and just call out the most meaningful points of your role. Be concise, and be meaninful. The person reading just needs enough to want to talk to you more about your experience.

Simpson Lazer Tag

Front Desk Attendant • Jun, 1975 — May, 1978

Boy, when Marge first told me she was going to the Police Academy, I thought it would be fun and exciting, you know, like the movie... Spaceballs. But instead, it's been painful and disturbing, like the movie Police Academy.


Springfield College

Associates Degree, Business Management • 1984 — 1986

  • Quickest to fall asleep
  • Fastest donut eater

If you had any meaningful roles at college, feel free to write about them here

Springfield High

High School Diploma • 1984

Least likely to graduate College

You can choose to have either a single or multiple awards



Founder & Primary Developer • 2012 — Present

Donut Locator is an open source node/ember app that lets users find donuts within a defined radius from their home.

Springfield Donut Eater's User Group

Co-Founder & Organizer • 2007 — Present

DEUG is a local monthly meetup in Springfield where we share all the latest tips and tricks for dat donut lifestyle. I organize the group, and typically eat most of the donuts.


Donut design

Sprinkle art, icing design, eclair management, taste testing, donut/coffee pairing research

Craft beer brewing

Hops inspection, brew testing, distribution management, bottle label design, festival and event management

Family leadership

Bread winning, conflict resolution, couch inspection, TV longevity testing


Outstanding Achievement

Springfield Nuclear Power Plant • 2010

Awarded for stopping a nuclear meltdown, even though I also started it.

Duff Beer Customer of the year

• 1997 — 2001, 2003, 2008 — 2012

Honored by Duff Beer for being an outstanding customer several years straight. Qualifications included most beer consumed at a bar, most beer purchased, and most beer ralphed.

Moe's Patron of the Month

• 12/2001, 8/2004

Specifically this prestigious awarded twice for stopping a robber with my belly.


Beer for the World

Volunteer • 2008 — Present

Organized fund drives and participated in fundraising events for the benefit of families in third world countries without proper access to malt beverages.

Springfield Nuclear Workers Labor Union

Member in Good Standing • 1994 — Present

Founding member of the local nuclear workers labor union.

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